in conclusion to the past 4 months of my life :

i think i am actually growing up.

living in greece was simple but being there was often a challenge--

i could go where i wanted when i wanted and i was free to roam, but i never got used to the unabashed racism, the sporradic ferry/taxi/bus/whatever strikes, the coldness from so many of the locals and maybe just the greek mentality in general.

it is all still very much a mystery to me.

and as much as i (thought i) was absolutely done with greece when i left athens, the past few days (as to be expected, i suppose) i have missed it TERRIBLY

and looking back, i just had no idea what i was getting into... NO IDEA.

i was blissfully unaware of the friends i would make, the places i would travel to, the things i would fall in love with; all of which i have in some form or another brought home with me only to cause myself this -- the worst of nostalgia.

i know the yearning to return to moments that ceased to exist the second we stepped into the new ones will go away soon enough, but as for right now -- i feel like i could be on the beach by jimmy's happily dying of the sweltering heat or having breakfast at symposium or even walking to school in gail force winds

but i am at home, downstairs, sitting on the new couch, wishing the sun would come out for reals.

and in terms of (maybe) growing up, i am somehow more than ok with this.

while i miss my life in greece more than i could explain i am also SO happy to be home

to be with my fam, to get to go to work, to hang out with the girls all the time, to get to go paddling whenever i want, to make smoothies every morning...

i am so happy it's summer.

+ i am also obsessed with this poem

the world cannot bear the weightlessness of sparrows

or the confetti of our illegible addresses

the moon’s breathless ascent

the world cannot bear it

so the world makes heavy things

like airplanes

and skyscrapers

like your heart

and heavy things fall down

because the world cannot bear them either

-- "heavy things" by denver butson

++ dinner partyyy with the girlies tonight! can't waiiit!